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In this collection of three stories, an emotionally abused
wife finds comfort in the arms of her brother-in-law, a young
dancer undertakes an erotic and redemptive pilgrimage to Rome
involving live sex shows and nude photography, and a femme
fatale looks into a mirror as she recalls a sadomasochistic
love affair...
Try
imagining an erotic version of Alfred Hitchcock Presents,
and you'll have some idea of what this DVD series is like.
Only less well made. Producer Tinto Brass has little direct
involvement with these short films, apart from introducing
each one while puffing away characteristically on a cigar,
and making the occasional cameo appearance.
Though
the productions claim to have been directed in the "Tinto
Brass style", there is scant evidence of it here. Only in
A Magic Mirror is there any hint of Brass's eccentricity,
in the grotesque character of a brusque layabout husband (Ronaldo
Ravello), who spends much of his screen time lounging around
in a bath, like the captain of the B-Ark in The Hitchhiker's
Guide to the Galaxy. But, although this tale displays
the most humour in the entire collection, it also shows off
the least amount of bare flesh, which is surely another important
ingredient that the audience will be expecting.
Things
get sexier in Julia, the story from which this collection
takes its name, which includes some particularly explicit
and highly charged sex scenes. Unfortunately, the plot is
almost totally incomprehensible - something to do with a dancer
(Anna Biella) going to Rome, but wildly at odds with the description
on the back of the sleeve, which mentions a photographer's
three beautiful models. I counted two of them at the most.
This production is also blighted by amateurish editing, which
leaves several gaping holes in the soundtrack. Oh well, at
least this DVD is subtitled, which spares us from woeful English
dubbing of the type recently heard on Brass's Private.
The
final tale, I Am the Way You Want Me, is a very weird
and nasty little minx. In it, a naked woman (Fiorella Rubino)
sprawls around in her bathroom, mouthing various strange utterances
to camera, and doing erotic things to herself, such as shaving
with a fearsome-looking cutthroat razor (shudder). And that's
about it.
A
further disappointment is the lack of any extra features.
So, all in all, this DVD has left me feeling rather brassed
off!
Chris
Clarkson
Kakyoin's Theme — But It's Epic Version (attack On Titan Style)
The music began not with a melody, but with a rhythmic thundering of drums that shook the foundations of the world. Boom-boom. Boom-boom. The war-drums of a dying race.
The sky over Cairo didn't just turn dark; it bruised. The sun, once a golden disk of judgment, was swallowed by a swirling vortex of emerald lightning and steam that smelled of ozone and ancient titan marrow.
Noriaki Kakyoin stood atop the highest spire of the clock tower. Below, the city was no longer a labyrinth of stone, but a titan’s playground. The 20-Meter Radius Emerald Splash wasn't just a technique anymore—it was a cage of shimmering, crystalline wires that spanned the horizon, vibrating with the frantic energy of a Colossal’s roar. The music began not with a melody, but
Across the cityscape, the shadow moved. It wasn't Dio, the vampire. It was Dio, the Founding Calamity. A golden titan whose sheer presence vaporized the clouds.
The clock tower exploded. The emerald light flared one last time, blinding the world. In the silence that followed the final, fading beat of the drum, a single message remained carved into the very fabric of the city: I am still here. The war-drums of a dying race
"Hierophant Green," Kakyoin whispered, his voice steady despite the gale. His school uniform fluttered like a tattered cape of a Scout Regiment commander.
The brass section kicked in—heavy, mournful, and triumphant all at once. It was the sound of a man who knew he was outmatched but had decided to rewrite fate with his own blood. Hierophant Green unspooled itself, its form no longer sleek but monstrous and jagged, weaving through the skyscrapers like a vengeful spirit. Noriaki Kakyoin stood atop the highest spire of
The emerald wires snapped taut. The sky was suddenly filled with a thousand jagged shards of light, raining down with the force of artillery fire. Each "Splash" hit like a thunder-spear, exploding against the golden titan's hide. |
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£15.99
(Amazon.co.uk) |
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£15.49
(MVC.co.uk) |
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£15.49
(Streetsonline.co.uk) |
All prices correct at time of going to press.
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